Growing up, I felt pushed to choose one identity but stuck between two worlds. Was I Puerto Rican, like my mother, or white, like my father? In either environment, people made me feel out of place, saying “You’re Latina? But you speak so clearly!” and “You can’t be Latina. You don’t speak Spanish!” The Latinx community is often assumed to be a monolith, although it includes over 62 million people in the U.S. with diverse origins and experiences.
Once, in the early years of my career at another company, the topic of immigration came up and I tried to stay out of it. An associate turned to me and said, “Natalie, as an immigrant, you must have an opinion. What are your thoughts?” I sat in stunned silence as multiple thoughts popped into my head: “I was born in San Diego, California!” and “Does she not know that my mother — and all Puerto Ricans — are American citizens?”
I tried to stay calm and professional. After a moment, I said, “Please leave me out of this. I will not have this discussion with you,” and walked off. Despite my irritation, I realized I did not want others to define who I was. I needed to do something about it.
From then on, I’ve thought carefully about my identity and worked hard to stop allowing other people to define me. Here at Advantage, when the opportunity arose to sign up for the HOLA (Hope and Opportunity = Latinx Ambition) employee resource group (ERG) for Latinx associates and allies, not just as a member, but also as a steering committee leader for the HOLA culture team, something in me said, “You need to do this!” I knew there had to be others like me, feeling pressured to limit themselves to a label. After joining the group, I realized everyone has struggles and growing pains that come with defining who they are.
In our Advantage HOLA ERG, we acknowledge that lines of identity can be blurry and overlapping. We discuss these sometimes-difficult nuances of identity to garner the change we wish to see in the world. After years of researching and soul searching and now being a member of HOLA, I am happy with who I am and I cannot be put into a box.
